I have a tarot deck – the Wild Unknown deck. There was something about the imagery that I loved, so even though I’m not sure I believe in tarot, I bought it, I use it, and I generally have no idea what I’m doing or what any of the cards mean. When I first started exploring this deck there was something that struck me – the lovers card. Instead of the usual guy and girl standing naked side by side, there are two Canada geese, flying beautifully in the skies. It was perfect. I have a history of geese meddling in my love life. This deck was definitely for me! So here’s a little story about love and geese…
Once upon a time, I got married. Yep, it’s true. It wasn’t exactly a great decision, but sometimes two people do stupid things in an attempt to further deny the fact that the relationship just isn’t right. I got married in Lake Tahoe on a beautiful day in June. The sun was out and the lake was sparkling its magnificent deep blue. I had my hair and make-up done and was wearing a pretty white dress, feeling completely not like myself. I walked down the path towards my soon to be husband not feeling any of the things I imagine a person is supposed to feel when they are about to get married.
The ceremony began, my fiance and I were standing there, awkwardly about 5 feet apart as our hired fake Elvis said something about love and commitment. Then, off in the distance, I saw a lone Canada goose playing in the lake, and for the first time that morning I felt excited! Instead of listening to what Elvis was saying, I watched the goose intently. I tried to share my excitement with my soon-to-be husband by not so subtlety whispering and pointing. There I was in the middle of what is supposed to be the “best day of my life” and all I cared about was this damn goose. I managed to stay focused on the actual wedding long enough to say “I do”, but still, all I was really interested in was that goose.
The goose stayed for the reception. Through toasts and cake cutting, it watched. It watched as I posed for photos, as I hugged my family, as I kissed my new husband. It was there through all of it, standing in the water relaxed and happy. It’s unusual to see a goose all alone like that. Normally, they are with their friends, relaxing in the grass somewhere or begging tourists for pieces of sandwiches. But this goose was happy to be alone. He was completely content. I should have been like that goose. Alone, doing my thing. And less than a year later, I was. Just me, alone, just like that goose.
Many years later I had my second lone goose encounter. I was on date with a guy who was trying really hard to make me his girlfriend. I wasn’t so sure about him, but was giving him a chance because friends of mine had mentioned that I never let anyone get past a second date. I always had good reasons, but decided it wouldn’t hurt to try something new. Third date, here I come…
We went hiking and in the middle of the hike we stopped by a lake for some snacks and wine. While we were sitting there enjoying the view a goose swam right up to me and just looked me in the eye. I looked back. “I hear you,” I thought to myself, “He is not for me.” And the goose was right, he wasn’t for me. I already knew it, but again, sometimes people do stupid things even when they know it isn’t right.
Now, my tarot deck tells me I have found my second goose. It says – “Two Canadian geese are mates for life.” Reality has yet to align, but the cards are adamant. So I wait, patiently, for my goose to come to me. Maybe that’s what my two lone geese were doing on those days – waiting. Happily enjoying their lives, knowing someday they would take flight with their perfect mate, and in the meantime, all they needed to do was hang out, enjoy themselves and meddle with the hearts of unsuspecting humans.